Lifeless – Just Body No Soul

He was there whenever she needed a true friend, her “BEST FRIEND”; her JELLO. He loved her like a father, pampered her like a sister, scolded as a mother, and irritated her like a friend. She was named LOVE by him and he was her JELLO. People often regard them as a couple n they hated to name their friendship as a love affair, but people are so annoying.. urghhhh!

Eleven years of frienship.. Actually not….

One year of strangership, [Memorable kind of meet with stranger that too twice]
Three years of baseless enemity, [Enemity without proper reason]
One year of casual relationship, [Hi-Hello kind of]
Two Years of friendship,
Best friends from four… FOUR DAMN YEARS…

Today is her birthday but she hates her birthday now. She is alone now, but why? Why is she crying? Where is her Jello? Why she is locked inside a dark room with red swollen puffy eyes with dried tear stains in her cheeks?

WHYYYY? Why you do it Jello? Why? She shouted on the top of her lungs.

It was like an archelles’ heel for her to believe what her Jello; her best friend did. She hates now, hates herself for letting him get so close to her.

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU JELLO…. NNEVVVERRRR NNNNNEEEEEVVVVEEEERRRRR; she wailed harder and harder and unknowingly dosed off.


12 AM (9, December)

Jello and Love (phone conversation): Hey Happy Birthday Love/Jello!

Jello: Ok! Now tell me what birthday gift will make you happy??

Love: I just wish you were here on my next birthday.

Jello: hnmmm…. ok then i’ll be there next year for sure.

Love: NOOOO! No need ok? You have your exam every year on this date.

Jello: So what? I can give up my life for you… It is just an exam

Love: (seriously) DON’T! Don’t you ever say that ever again Jello. I can’t afford to lose you. (In tears) I lost my faith on friendship when Sonu forgot me after changing school. My friends always took me for-granted. They all left me when I was in need. I hated this word then when you came as a ray of hope and made me believe on it again. If I lose you I’ll die Jello… I’ll die.

Jello: (Understanding her depth of feelings) Hey, hey hey! I’m sorry Love I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ll never leave you… Even if I do I’ll leave someone to babysit you, dear! (To lighten her mood) by the way; I can’t die before I make you tie a knot so take a chill pill…

Love: Urghhhhh! Shut up! Irritating fellow


She wakes up in the morning. Freshen ups and goes for her extra class as she is in her 10th standard. She was normal whole day… Or you can say she pretended to be. She slowly lost her smile. She lost her charm. She wanted to be alone and didn’t like anyone’s company except for one of her friend named Pooja. She started staying alone and cries every time without anyone’s knowledge. She started locking her door and started living in darkness. Dark was always her favorite but now it had become her life. She was the one who once use to dance in rain but now she hated it to the core. She hated everything. She hated herself… especially her smile… her happiness.

She hated so much that whenever she sees herself in the mirror she remembered that dreadful day and her anger rose to the peak looking the person before her. Her eyes turned red with hatred, her breathing turned heavier and her hand raised to slap the person making the mirror break into millions of pieces in a fraction of seconds. The blood oozing out from her hand would give her immense satisfaction to see. That was the proof that she was able to punish the one who was responsible for her state i.e. herself. She was punishing herself for letting someone come so close to her. She holds herself responsible for her suffering. She hated the word ‘Love’ now… She hated herself that she uses to hit herself with metal scale if she find any live image of her smiling. The proof of her hatred was the bruises all over her body… Not a single part was left without the mark. She would winch in pain whenever she would change her position; either sleeping to sitting or sitting to sleeping.

Days went like this and became months. She was normal for the world but she was all broken inside. She only lost her smile for the world but she actually lost her soul. She was not broken but badly shattered. She never let anyone know her inner turmoil for which she kept herself busy in finding jobs as now she had passed her 10th. She applied for jobs and got an opportunity to volunteer in different places.

16 Years later…..

Love was now owner of a chain of NGOs called AMEN. AMEN had given shelter to 3890 orphan kids, 4212 elderly people, as well as employment to 3760 differently able people and 1902 abandoned women in 30 different countries all over the world. She was a strong personality and everyone in AMEN called her mom as she took care of them like her own kids. She was also member of CRIME BRANCH. She was spending her life like that and when she met an old friend Max (common friend of her and Jello).

Conversation between them:-

Hey Amore (her real name)! How are you? Max inquired when he saw her walking lost in her thought.
Hey Max! I’m good. (Trying to sound normal) What about you huh? How are others?

Max: “Yeah! We just.. Just miss you”

Amore: (understanding what he meant) ME? Come on kiddo m great. I was upset but see I’ve moved on. I’m just busy on my job so couldn’t contact you all.

Max: (sarcastically) Ya ya! I can see that in your hand under your full sleeve shirt that you are wearing in this burning hot sun where pitch (back top) is even melting. It’s so cold naa?

Amore: (startled) WHATT? (Buttoning her sleeves) Oh! This? It’s just that I got scratches while moving through a forest area regarding a project.

Max: (Angry) SHUT UPP! (In tears) You still held yourself responsible, don’t you?

Amore: (smiling in tears) I don’t hold Max, I am…

Max: But….

Amore: (cutting in between) I gotta go Max. Tell everyone not to worry about me. See yaa bu-bbiee.

Saying this she left leaving Max in tears and devastated seeing his friend; most chubby girl of the group in such a condition, so broken like no soul. He hated himself for judging so wrong about her. He was guilty thinking her not worthy to Mixen(Jello’s real name)’s friendship. He never liked her being in their group and the way Mixen attended her. He went his home when he reminisced that dreadful incident…

Max: (irritated) what the hell Mixi? You made your dad postpone our exam just to meet that girl? She does not worth you why don’t you let her be???

Mixi: (seriously) she is not “THAT GIRL” Max, she do have a name. AND remember (furiously with red eyes) “She is MY BEST FRIEND, MY SOUL. WITHOUT HER I’LL JUST BE A BODY, NO SOUL”

Max: (terrified) S..Sor..Sorry. It’s just that I feel she is taking you for-granted buddy. She…

Mixi: (calming) the day you will get to know her you will regret your judgment bro…

Just then they get to know that flights are canceled due to weather. Mixi was yet adamant to meet his love as tomorrow was her birthday. It was her wish to see him that day. Mixi was really excited as for the first time Amore asked anything with him and he was adamant to fulfill her wish. He decided to drive himself but Max booked train tickets for him and flight ticket was booked for his return. He traveled for whole 14 hours and reached to Amore. She was happy but superrrr angry with him for postponing exams using power but later he convinced her and cheered her up. She was on the cloud nine. She celebrated her birthday but she was feeling restless. She called Max to know the flight details as it again got postponed. Max wanted him to return back ASAP coz he hated Amore. He didn’t want Mixi to stay long with her but he couldn’t do anything. He told Mixi to return ASAP but here Amore was restless. She didn’t want her Jello to go; at-least not now. But, she let him go. Before going he hugged her tight and stayed like that for a while and told her to be strong and prove the world that our friendship is not weak to break ever. He made her promise to fulfill their dream to start an Orphanage and An Old age home and give life to those who are in need. She was crying, dunno why but she was not willing to let him go but, he was reluctant to go; then… he went… leaving her all worried and restless

She called Becky, Joe, Pat, Tarit and Max numerous times to know about Mixi and told that she is restless for him. Her worry was visible in her voice, she was choking. Now everyone got worried… hell worried. They had never seen Amore in such a state. She was always a strong and bold girl but now she is all devastated. Max felt guilty for thinking her to be a gold digger. He asked for forgiveness with her and she told him that she understand his protectiveness towards him so it’s okay but for now let’s please try to contact him..

Max’s pov: Mixi went missing that day, nobody knows where he went, Amore was LIFELESS JUST BODY but NO SOUL. She was cursing herself for letting him go even when she was so restless. We all were unable to understand what to do? Two months.. COMPLETE TWO MONTHS she was with us. We became good friends till then. She tried her best to gather us all but she was herself in a vulnerable state. We tried all methods but she only was there for us. She was struggling to live when we got a parcel. There was a letter which had an address and we were asked to come there.

It was a farm house where our pictures was there. Servants were there with gloomy face. We were unable to understand what is happening when Amore rushed to a room huff-ling and panting. The door was locked so she took a key which was hanging on the wall. She was scared as hell. We were numb seeing her reaction. We had seen her struggling to survive these days, we had seen her worst – this is what we thought, but… now, we are seeing her worst than the worst. Becky was trying to ask her but all we got was her panicking reaction.

Finally after the trial of one and a half minutes the door was open. She (Amore) instantly ran as if she is running to save her life from a hungry leopard. There were many rooms inside that door which was being flung open by us as Amore told us to do. We did it without a question as we had no guts to ask her further when she rushed to a room and we were shell shocked to see the scenario.

Mixi was lying in the bed – complete pale and looked tired. He was bald now and was no more same as two months before. A servant gave us a report which broke us down. He was suffering from cancer – third stage. He wanted to meet us for the last time. He met us and then gave Amore a letter unknown to us which made her cry like a baby and she hugged him. Both cried a lot. Then she lied on his lap when he sang a song, read her a story and then made her sleep. It was like a baby is in her father’s lap. She woke up after a good two hours sleep. He too woke up later and then they smiled at each other. She then made soups for him and then feed him medicine and made him sleep in the same way he did.

They laughed, smiled and that was the last time i saw her happy. She might want to give him happiness so she never cried in front of him but we had seen her crying when she was alone. She always made him sleep in her lap caressing his head and face, singing song and reciting stories like a mother does to her baby. She made sure that she is always there when he wake up. We always knew that they share a strong bond but we never knew that they could even be a father and a mother to each other. Mixi was so right when he said, “THE DAY YOU WILL GET TO KNOW HER YOU WILL REGRET YOUR JUDGMENT BRO…” I was really dying with guilt. Only his words were echoing on my ears.

Days passed and after 37 days we saw two lifeless bodies. One left breathing and one left living. She always held herself responsible for not stopping him when she had to. She was not at fault but she hates herself as she thinks she is responsible.

Pov Ends

On the other side Amore crashed on the floor as soon as she reached her room. She cried hard reminiscing the incident.

Amore’s pov

I can’t forgive myself Max. I know you all don’t take me as a fault but I am at the fault. I could have stopped him.. But no, I let him go. I remember how restless I was. But I let him go. I could have forced him to stay… he was my Jello he would listen to me if I would force more but I let him go and lost him forever. I hate myself for taking his life. I was dying every second when he went missing. Then when we got the letter we rushed to him. When we got out of the car my heart sank because I knew what this place was. It was the place which was my favorite. We had once liked this and uncle bought it for us. It was named as our property… we wanted to name the place MIXORE (MIXen+AmORE). I rushed in as I was clear by now why were we called here. He had once told me that he wants to die here in this farm house. He had said that he would like to sleep in my lap and listen to his secret favorite songs which are only known by me as he had a feeling that people would make fun of him if he discloses them. My breath was stuck at my throat. I was shivering. An unknown fear was gulping me inside-out, I was unable to control my panic.

I took keys and tried to open the main door of multi-cased room but it was not opening; actually it has 14 rooms inside the single one so we called it MULTI-cased. I could not open the door may be because I was really panicked. After a long trial I successfully did and told others to open the doors inside which they silently did. Finally I saw him. He was pale, tired, he no longer had his hair. My heart dropped down. I ran to him n made him breathless with my hug. Later we found out about him suffering from cancer. My knees went weak and I sat on the floor with a thud. He then gave me a letter where he mentioned about our dream.

We wanted to start an Orphanage with the winning prize that we got from a competition. The orphanage was to be called AMEN. We decided this name as it is a word used while prayer or hymns and merging of our names (AMore+mixEN). We had a dream of it and we were collecting money enough for it. He wanted it to be completed and wanted me to fulfill his wish. I now lost my strength and cried hard hugging him. He knew I didn’t sleep all these months well so he made me lie on his lap and before keeping my head in his lap I made sure that he was lying in the bed in such a way that he won’t be troubled. He sung me my favorite song and I slept when he was reciting story. Later when I woke up I went down to prepare food for him and made him have it. Later then I made sure I am always there when he wake up. I made him sleep in my lap thereafter till the end.

I tried my best to keep him happy. Those were the last moments of my life. Later I got to know that he was suffering from cancer since past seven months but he never let me now. When I called his doctor to know even he didn’t tell me anything. He told me that he didn’t want me to worry about him that is why he didn’t let me know to which I remained quiet. It was my entire fault that I couldn’t find about his health issue. I couldn’t be a good best friend. If I would find out about him earlier then he might have survived. He was always there for me but I left him alone when he needed the most. I hate myself. Today I’m lifeless; I am a body without a soul for which I am responsible. I can never forgive myself for giving up and I’ll never forgive him for hiding such a big matter.

Pov ends

Later that night she doses off on the floor like always, remembering her best friend; her Jello; her promise and AMEN.

A week Later…

The Noble award goes to yet again for the 10th time… Miss Amore Love

Thank you everyone for such a huge respect. I am glad that AMEN could stand be so fruitful for our society, ‘said Amore giving her gratitude.gratitude

Then was when she was asked most frequently asked question: Mam you 32 now yet why didn’t you marry? To which she replied “I am ready to marry but tell me a thing, if I marry what will be the guarantee that the one I marry will be father to my 13,764 children all over the world? For me they are my world so I won’t marry unless I get a father to my babies rather than a husband for me.” Leaving the media shocked people bewildered and AMENians (her babies) proud of their mom.

Now AMENians are praying for a perfect father for them who would enter in their mom’s life and make her SOULFUL – FULL OF LIFE from LIFELESS – JUST BODY, NO SOUL.


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